MEXICAN CULTURE CHAPTER NINE

I wish someone had written a more reality-based expatriation guide we could have read during our research phase before moving to Mexico. The fine books that do exist, that everyone seems to have read, give you a rosy picture of what life is like in Mexico for the American. For those who are thinking about moving to Mexico to spend their retirement years, you will be given the impression that living in Mexico is akin to moving into heaven, or at least into Never-Never-Land. The real estate marketers make the grand pitch for living in San Miguel de Allende, for example, and make it seem that the American can have every single thing here they had at home, only more and bigger and better and more, more, more!

I write about this a lot. I believe it is dishonest not to tell the whole story. The reason the real story is rarely mentioned is that it simply does not sell. You won't find someone who wants to make his living selling houses in Puerto Vallarta telling you that locals will most likely knock on your door on a daily basis asking you to give them money for some disaster that has just befallen them. The story comes with a well-rehearsed beginning, middle, and end. Honestly, I think some of them give performances worthy of winning an Academy Award when giving the money pitch to those rich gringos.

None of the books really go into any of the reasons why you, the "rich" American gringo, will become the target for being hounded to death for money once you move into a Mexican community. Maybe that's why Gringolandias come into being. People want to protect themselves from having to deal with beggars who come to your door almost unceasingly.

I don't know.

The simple answer is if you are a Gringo, Mexicans perceive you as having riches galore. You won't miss any of all that money you have just sitting around and getting in your way. Do the well heeled and better educated Mexicans think that? Of course not. But, as none of the current expat guides point out, those moneyed and educated do not comprise the masses in this country. Therefore, if you want to move here, you will always be a target for the beggars.

I know of a couple of beggars in the town where we live that become very offended if you do not hand over your money. One of them, upon being handed ten pesos, get ready for this, has the unmitigated gall to tell you to your face,

"No! I want fifty pesos."

If you think that's brassy, get this one.

There is a woman who the Mexicans tell us owns several rental properties around town. Yet, she spends her days walking up and down the plazas begging money from Gringo tourists. I swear more than one Mexican has told me this story.

I write about this so often because too many Americans cannot seem to realize that Mexico is not America. They have this vision of Mexico as a Concept and not as a Reality. The Concept they have is that living in Mexico is just like living in the U.S. and that Mexicans are really a lot like us-nothing could be farther from the truth. Mexico, so near, yet so different.

There is a dark side to expatriating to Mexico. That's why I write about it. No one else does.

The worse reactions I receive through a deluge of hate mail are from Gringos who think I am casting aspersions on their expat experience. I am not. That is their perception and not my intent.

My motive is to be a harbinger for those planning on moving here in the near future. If they can get it right (learn what to expect, learn Spanish, learn culture), this could turn the tide and perhaps, if we are all lucky, remove the need for the existence of Gringolandias.

Just, maybe!